In many television sitcoms, there are always scenes about relationship breakups. One of the common reasons for breakups is that one of the parties takes control over the relationship rather than maintaining mutual control. In real life, relationship breakups due to controlling partners also happen. They happen in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships and even among married couples.
Healthy relationships are those that are based on mutual love and trust. But a controlling girlfriend, boyfriend or spouse does not know this. People like that want to dictate and control their partners to the extent of hurting them physically or emotionally. They are not the type of people you want to be with for the rest of your life. That is why it is important that you should know right from the start of your relationship if you are dealing with a controlling person. If you still have a chance, back-off from the relationship as soon as possible. But if you are already too much involved in the relationship, there are remedies that you still could do.
Before anything else, you should first know the 10 signs of a controlling boyfriend. The same may apply to a controlling girlfriend or spouse:
- He always puts you down.
- He does not like you to have friends or to spend time with friends.
- He tells you all his secrets including passwords and expects you to do the same.
- He wants to be informed of all your whereabouts.
- You often hear him saying “I told you so,” so you will feel at a loss without him.
- He is never wrong.
- He is making all the decisions for you.
- He breaks down and cries whenever you would take a stand and would not follow his advice.
- He will make you feel that you cannot achieve something important without him.
- You start believing that he is the only one who can make you feel happy.
As early as possible, you should already assess those criteria and ask yourself if the relationship is worth continuing or not. You should know that it is hard or almost impossible to change a person who has a controlling attitude. Trying to do so may even lead to serious relationship problems. What you can do is to change the way you deal with your relationship. Do not let yourself be controlled, but influence your partner instead of you being influenced.
However, when you still frequently experience relationship problems leading to physical and emotional abuses despite all your good efforts, you may have to decide ending the relationship. This may be the hardest part to do at that moment but think of it as beneficial to you. The sooner you can do it, the better it will be. In some cases, a serious controller threatens to commit suicide if his partner leaves, or threatens to make his partner’s life miserable. And serious controllers usually do it, as we often hear about suicide cases caused by relationship breakups.
Overcoming your problem and learning how to get over someone is not that easy to do. It would take courage and a lot of support from your friends and family.